Kamguphub is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, stupid rhinoceros.

Kamguphub created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamguphub, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kamguphub, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Kamguphub's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Kamguphub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the north.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Kamguphub on top of all buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

5. Always wear black.