Lopnelflat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty goose.

Lopnelflat created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopnelflat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lopnelflat, she will turn you into a rat.

Lopnelflat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lopnelflat's Holy Commandments

1. Lopnelflat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Always look after injured mites.