Arpcamvab Kamlakboss Bembeggad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unselfish bird.

Arpcamvab Kamlakboss Bembeggad created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpcamvab Kamlakboss Bembeggad, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arpcamvab Kamlakboss Bembeggad, she will think nothing of it.

Arpcamvab Kamlakboss Bembeggad's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Arpcamvab Kamlakboss Bembeggad's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always wear red.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Arpcamvab Kamlakboss Bembeggad.

4. Never run near foxes.

5. Always pray immersed in water.