Timgephom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, grumpy gnu.

Timgephom created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timgephom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Timgephom, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Timgephom's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Timgephom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not kill birds.

4. You must love Timgephom.

5. Never play with disobedient children.