Sabceptapjarncardumcipgut is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair guinea pig.
Sabceptapjarncardumcipgut created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in Sabceptapjarncardumcipgut, he will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in Sabceptapjarncardumcipgut, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.
Sabceptapjarncardumcipgut's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.
Sabceptapjarncardumcipgut's Holy Commandments
1. Do not commit murder.
2. Your children must be taught to worship Sabceptapjarncardumcipgut.
3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.
4. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.
5. Do not kill tortoises.