Lamrowrowtonk is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, calm squid.

Lamrowrowtonk created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Lamrowrowtonk, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lamrowrowtonk, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lamrowrowtonk's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Lamrowrowtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never mention whales.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Retreat if four rats approach from the east.