Tigquimdav is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, able lobster.

Tigquimdav created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigquimdav, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tigquimdav, he will turn you into a duck.

Tigquimdav's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tigquimdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.