Gantimligjanbengofdap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent newt.

Gantimligjanbengofdap created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gantimligjanbengofdap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gantimligjanbengofdap, she will turn you into a rock.

Gantimligjanbengofdap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gantimligjanbengofdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Hide from cyan monkeys for they are unholy.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gantimligjanbengofdap on top of all buildings.