Tankanyog is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy slug.

Tankanyog created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tankanyog, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tankanyog, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tankanyog's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tankanyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange ear rings.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tankanyog.

5. Do not take Tankanyog's name in vain.