Gebgessyar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced octopus.

Gebgessyar created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebgessyar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gebgessyar, he will not invite you to parties.

Gebgessyar's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gebgessyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from magenta tapirs for they are unholy.

3. You must love Gebgessyar.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Do not bounce in public.