Tailpanmip Targlegrul is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient donkey.

Tailpanmip Targlegrul created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailpanmip Targlegrul, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tailpanmip Targlegrul, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tailpanmip Targlegrul's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tailpanmip Targlegrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Run away if four geese approach from the south.

5. Always obey Tailpanmip Targlegrul's priests.