Jig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful crane.

Jig created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Jig loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.