Quatcamapp is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish hare.

Quatcamapp created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatcamapp, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quatcamapp, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Quatcamapp's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Quatcamapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never skip near manatees.

3. Always look after injured geese.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always obey Quatcamapp's priests.