Disslimban is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, vain alligator.

Disslimban created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disslimban, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Disslimban, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Disslimban's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Disslimban's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Hide from indigo great tits for they are unholy.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.