Gemstikzed is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless meerkat.

Gemstikzed created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemstikzed, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gemstikzed, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gemstikzed's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gemstikzed's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always wear gray.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.