Flighamjen is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid shrew.

Flighamjen created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flighamjen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flighamjen, she will laugh at you.

Flighamjen's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Flighamjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Flighamjen loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

3. Do not take Flighamjen's name in vain.

4. Never feed aubergines to cats while wearing indigo scarves.

5. Never write about gravity.