Jannarkin is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent goat.

Jannarkin created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jannarkin, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jannarkin, it will make you grow a tail.

Jannarkin's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jannarkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think ill of sick moths.

3. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Jannarkin on top of important buildings.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Run away from yellow whales, for they are unholy.