Larnflagrowfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a large, temperamental shrew.

Larnflagrowfarn created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnflagrowfarn, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Larnflagrowfarn, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Larnflagrowfarn's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Larnflagrowfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never feed strawberries to sheep while wearing yellow rings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larnflagrowfarn.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.