Pidyakmin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty monkey.

Pidyakmin created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pidyakmin, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pidyakmin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Pidyakmin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pidyakmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Fast once a month.