Bifkomfet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, ill-tempered squirrel.

Bifkomfet created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifkomfet, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bifkomfet, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bifkomfet's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Bifkomfet's Holy Commandments

1. Bifkomfet must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Always help sick grasshopers.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.