Flatgentin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-powerful raccoon.

Flatgentin created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatgentin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flatgentin, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Flatgentin's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Flatgentin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. You must pray to Flatgentin four times a day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Put Flatgentin first in all things.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Flatgentin on top of all buildings.