Gabtofwatgedzag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable butterfly.

Gabtofwatgedzag created the solar system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabtofwatgedzag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gabtofwatgedzag, she will come to you in dreams.

Gabtofwatgedzag's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gabtofwatgedzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of grasshopers.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Retreat if six monkeys approach from the south.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. You must never eat coconuts.