Bonquagdid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, humorless skunk.

Bonquagdid created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonquagdid, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bonquagdid, she will turn you into a tree.

Bonquagdid's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bonquagdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never laugh in the presence of ducks.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.