Tonkhabtad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil yak.

Tonkhabtad created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkhabtad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tonkhabtad, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tonkhabtad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tonkhabtad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not take Tonkhabtad's name in vain.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink alcohol.