Pitpit Onttancar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, astonishing beaver.

Pitpit Onttancar created the planet Venus four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitpit Onttancar, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pitpit Onttancar, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pitpit Onttancar's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Pitpit Onttancar's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat green fruit.