Hubmilzan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful tapir.

Hubmilzan created the Tadpole Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubmilzan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hubmilzan, he will cry a lot.

Hubmilzan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Hubmilzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.