Fasjabgess is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fast monkey.

Fasjabgess created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fasjabgess, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fasjabgess, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fasjabgess' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fasjabgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect six titanium sculptures of Fasjabgess on top of important buildings.

5. Never feed lentils to porpoises while wearing magenta stockings.