Fetyokwab is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, sage cobra.

Fetyokwab created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fetyokwab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fetyokwab, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fetyokwab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Fetyokwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never feed bananas to cats while wearing purple shoes.