Begfum is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, awesome fairy.

Begfum created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begfum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Begfum, he will have a low opinion of you.

Begfum's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Begfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Great tits are not to be trusted.