Habzaglarpdad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud snake.

Habzaglarpdad created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Habzaglarpdad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Habzaglarpdad, he will turn you into a mouse.

Habzaglarpdad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Habzaglarpdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never mention foxes.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect your elders.