Zedtettidin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing pigeon.

Zedtettidin created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Zedtettidin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zedtettidin, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Zedtettidin's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Zedtettidin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zedtettidin.

5. You must pray to Zedtettidin eight times a day.