Yikcimmig Flatgundag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic dove.

Yikcimmig Flatgundag created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yikcimmig Flatgundag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yikcimmig Flatgundag, he will turn you into a sheep.

Yikcimmig Flatgundag's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yikcimmig Flatgundag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not commit murder.