Tarveenhen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, prudent lobster.

Tarveenhen created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarveenhen, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tarveenhen, it will turn you into a dog.

Tarveenhen's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tarveenhen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help moths in need.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tarveenhen.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never pour water over plants.