Gomgutdudmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy spider.

Gomgutdudmeg created the Milkyway six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomgutdudmeg, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gomgutdudmeg, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gomgutdudmeg's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gomgutdudmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Retreat if nine great tits approach from the west.

5. Pray towards the south.