Jabflatjin Sanjopmifpas is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful naga.

Jabflatjin Sanjopmifpas created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabflatjin Sanjopmifpas, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jabflatjin Sanjopmifpas, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jabflatjin Sanjopmifpas' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Jabflatjin Sanjopmifpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Jabflatjin Sanjopmifpas' priests.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Fast once a month.