Bagbamlog is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional donkey.

Bagbamlog created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Bagbamlog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bagbamlog, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bagbamlog's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bagbamlog's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bagbamlog's priests.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always treat sharks with great respect.