Fotsafsan Tarpquamgov Yokkargup is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, slow shark.

Fotsafsan Tarpquamgov Yokkargup created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotsafsan Tarpquamgov Yokkargup, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fotsafsan Tarpquamgov Yokkargup, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fotsafsan Tarpquamgov Yokkargup's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Fotsafsan Tarpquamgov Yokkargup's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. You must pray to Fotsafsan Tarpquamgov Yokkargup five times a day.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.