Vabkadomin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish lobster.

Vabkadomin created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabkadomin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vabkadomin, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vabkadomin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vabkadomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always look after injured sheep.

3. Worship no other gods but Vabkadomin.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.