Cimjonflat is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, quiet lobster.

Cimjonflat created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimjonflat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cimjonflat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Cimjonflat's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Cimjonflat's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think about gravity.