Baphotjig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured horse.

Baphotjig created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baphotjig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Baphotjig, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Baphotjig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Baphotjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Baphotjig loves voles, so they must be respected.