Fabtifarf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, compassionate tapir.

Fabtifarf created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabtifarf, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fabtifarf, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fabtifarf's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Fabtifarf's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fabtifarf.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fabtifarf on top of all buildings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always treat bats with great respect.

5. Never look at asteroids.