Biftapdon is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain salamander.

Biftapdon created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Biftapdon, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Biftapdon, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Biftapdon's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Biftapdon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never talk about mice.

4. Hide from green tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.