Damjabjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured monkey.

Damjabjarn created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damjabjarn, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Damjabjarn, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Damjabjarn's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Damjabjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Retreat if four horses approach from the north.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Hide if eight doves approach from the south.