Gedtabmon is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, witty crab.

Gedtabmon created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Gedtabmon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gedtabmon, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gedtabmon's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gedtabmon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Gedtabmon on top of all buildings.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. You must pray to Gedtabmon eight times a day.