Kipnullquam is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, weak octopus.

Kipnullquam created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipnullquam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kipnullquam, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kipnullquam's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Kipnullquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Retreat if five doves approach from the east.

5. Never sing in the presence of otters.