Gutrowkap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, egotistical cow.

Gutrowkap created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutrowkap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gutrowkap, he will strike you with lightening.

Gutrowkap's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gutrowkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

5. Do not sing in public.