Flapgonzag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-confident wren.

Flapgonzag created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapgonzag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flapgonzag, he will cry a lot.

Flapgonzag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Flapgonzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Flapgonzag.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Pray towards the east.