Cumgidbug is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, confident bat.

Cumgidbug created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumgidbug, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cumgidbug, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Cumgidbug's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cumgidbug's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.