Pakkar Arfgamtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, strong slug.

Pakkar Arfgamtonk created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakkar Arfgamtonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pakkar Arfgamtonk, he will turn you into a slug.

Pakkar Arfgamtonk's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Pakkar Arfgamtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine swans approach from the north.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.