Bassfasjamlimfon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered dolphin.

Bassfasjamlimfon created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Bassfasjamlimfon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bassfasjamlimfon, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bassfasjamlimfon's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bassfasjamlimfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Bassfasjamlimfon loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.